Castle Fans Gifts

Senior Adviser Sight Test Chart

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Mohamed Salah

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

Fairytale prince and princess

Football supporters.

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Beware of the Dragon

"And to think he started in accounting."

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

"One of you go see who's at the door."