Castle Fan Gifts

The Trouble With Kings

'Go on then.....Rule!'

'That wasn't boiling oil. That was my laundry!'

'They're throwing everything at us.'

"You and your stones collection!"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'I think they're up to something.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

'The knights are drawing closer'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Fairytale prince and princess

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

Football supporters.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

Knight walking a dog.

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'Oh dear, Hamlet seems to have developed turrets syndrome.'

"It's the battering classes"