Castle Lover Gifts

'I don't do 'slip and fall,' but if you're ever in need of a good tax attorney...'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'This is okay... all that matters is economic growth.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

George and the dragon.

They were all out of sharks

'My new years resolution is to be less imperious.'

Trust the Jarl of Orkney to mock your reluctance to invest in a moat

'... And I've been meaning to talk to you, about what I found floating in the moat this morning!'

'I have a lot of issues with chafing.'

'That's not the moat you hear - you forgot to jiggle the handle again.'

"They have been given one minute to get out of town."

'Because I'm the King, and I'll pee in the moat whenever I want to!'

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

King with a long walk to his castle.

'I can't remember for the life of me why I came upstairs.'

'My wife got the castle.'

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

"One hundred and eiighty!!!"

King looking down on a group of townsfolk

"I don't know what's going on, either, sire, but I don't like the look of it."

Footballers in the Middle Ages.

'This doesn't look good -- the masses are huddling.'

"I don't know, Easter time always makes me a bit nervous."

"Send in the Big Guy!"

"Wasn't there only ONE dead Vikings on the lawn yesterday?"

"He's in quarantine for fourteen days."

"Your mother can't come this weekend. We've rented the place out for a wedding."

"Due to the financial state of the kingdom were turning the castle into a Bed & Breakfast & Ransom."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"You'd best make hotel arrangements elsewhere."