Castle Manager Gifts

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

This castle manager job better be for real.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Hold on a second, Bob. I'm putting you on a stickie."

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Input From The Front Office

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

Stockwell's day

Caution: use only under child supervison

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Turn Down For What.

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

A Mom's Purse