Castle Champion Gifts

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Not that slowly back...'

First Prize!

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

This castle manager job better be for real.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

Fairytale prince and princess

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

"It's the battering classes"

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Beware of the Dragon

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

"Friend or foe?"

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."