Castle Champion T-Shirts

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Not that slowly back...'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

First Prize!

"Wait a minute. Have you guys thought about how this thing is supposed to fit in there?"

This castle manager job better be for real.

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

Fairytale prince and princess

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

"It's the battering classes"

Beware of the Dragon

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

"One of you go see who's at the door."

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.