Castle Defender T-Shirts

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'I think they're up to something.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The knights are drawing closer'

This castle manager job better be for real.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

Knight walking a dog.

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'Oh dear, Hamlet seems to have developed turrets syndrome.'

Grimm's Fairytales - The Golden Bird

'How long did you try before calling?'

Castle Efficiency

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

'Ed, see if you can find out why Henderson, Morgan and Caldwell are building a moat around their building.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

"Why can't you bring me a rodent like a normal cat?"

'If you ask me, all his tough talk on national issues is seriously undermined by the fuzzy pajamas.'

Art Theft

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

"Sire, the barbarian's are no longer at the gate...they're inside it!"

'Go on then.....Rule!'

'Is that the trebuchet?'

"You and your stones collection!"

What a moon set.

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

"It's another birthday card for me...!"