London Defenders T-Shirts

"Are there people who don't live in London?"

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'Storm'

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

"It's your turn, kid."

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

"I can destroy your bank of knowledge with one blast from my destructo-beam!"

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

The Moth Menace.

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

"Tech savvy? o. Is there any call for regular savvy?"

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

'And please take into account that my client was acting upon a double-dog-dare.'

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

'It's amazing what they throw away: a tracksuit, a dozen oranges and another 2-0 lead.'

COVID-19 in the Big Apple.

Door to door salesman sees sign: 'We have everything.'

Pest Control

"Don't give me this stupid 'Renaissance' stuff! - The Middle Ages were good enough for my father and they're good enough for me!"

'This has been taking up all of my time.'

'Maybe you should ease up on the burglar.'

"I've covered my throat with an extra hot mix of wasabi and chilly paste: he got a nasty shock when he went for my jugular..."

"I don't let them bite. They just do."

'To stress heterosexual, we now get a merit badge for getting laid!'

"By the way, how's that lawsuit against the home insurance company going?"

"Look, I've got nothing against globalization, just as long as it's not in my backyard."

'All of those 'home lawyer' books are really beginning to take their toll on our business.'