London Defenders Gifts

"Are there people who don't live in London?"

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'Storm'

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

"This is what happens when we don't practice social distancing."

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

"It's your turn, kid."

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

"I can destroy your bank of knowledge with one blast from my destructo-beam!"

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

The Moth Menace.

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

How do you keep cats out of your garden? I catch the little sneaks

"Tech savvy? o. Is there any call for regular savvy?"

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

'And please take into account that my client was acting upon a double-dog-dare.'

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

'It's amazing what they throw away: a tracksuit, a dozen oranges and another 2-0 lead.'

Pest Control

Door to door salesman sees sign: 'We have everything.'

COVID-19 in the Big Apple.

"Don't give me this stupid 'Renaissance' stuff! - The Middle Ages were good enough for my father and they're good enough for me!"

'This has been taking up all of my time.'

'Maybe you should ease up on the burglar.'

"I've covered my throat with an extra hot mix of wasabi and chilly paste: he got a nasty shock when he went for my jugular..."

"By the way, how's that lawsuit against the home insurance company going?"

Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You ok in there? I think I'm dying here. What? D'you need me to call 911? I don't think that'll help. I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city. Get off your phone!!! I'm saving the kingdom here! It's important!

'To stress heterosexual, we now get a merit badge for getting laid!'

My house is infected with bugs! Pest Control, Inc. Who shall I say is crawling?

"I don't let them bite. They just do."

"Look, I've got nothing against globalization, just as long as it's not in my backyard."