Classic Skills Defender Gifts

"Tech savvy? o. Is there any call for regular savvy?"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'What will we do when the ice melts?'

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

Science Snobs

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

Art Theft

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

Mum ices cake with 'hands off'.

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

J.F. Bonner 1886 - 1974. Soldier, Statesman, Author, Philanthropist. Trivialized by the media 1986.

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

Ginger Breadman

'...I still the the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top!'

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'

Door to door salesman sees sign: 'We have everything.'

Doris turns to crime

'It's a survival trick: I'm making sure the fur-traders have no interest in my hide...'

Bad Carbs

Pest Control

Boxer Scarecrow Fends of the Crows.