Classic Skills Defender Gifts

"Tech savvy? o. Is there any call for regular savvy?"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'What will we do when the ice melts?'

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

Science Snobs

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

Art Theft

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

Mum ices cake with 'hands off'.

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

How do you keep cats out of your garden? I catch the little sneaks

'...I still the the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top!'

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

J.F. Bonner 1886 - 1974. Soldier, Statesman, Author, Philanthropist. Trivialized by the media 1986.

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

Ginger Breadman

Bad Carbs

Pest Control

Boxer Scarecrow Fends of the Crows.

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'

Doris turns to crime

Door to door salesman sees sign: 'We have everything.'