Future Defenders Gifts

"It's your turn, kid."

Football Fans

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Exercising

Children playing football.

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

"Whether they are his first words or not - E.V.'s do not make that sound!"

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

A boy with a football

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

Goal

'Storm'

Your mother and I don't think the weekend lacrosse league is a good idea, Teddy. Why not? Too much driving. But I ride the school bus home from practice all week! Exactly! Our favorite mass transit vehicle! I can't wait to get my license!

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'...so until you get your own place - you live by our rules!'

'I've completed driver's ed, auto repair and sex ed. Now may I borrow the car?'

"Sorry, son, but you're not old enough to drive my new car. But you are old enough to show me how to use its computer system."

'Always watch the car behind the one in front of you.'

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

"True, I'm from pest control...but we don't eliminate internet trolls."

"For my birthday, my parents are giving me a driverless car that's always home by 10."

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

"He wants to be a Navy Seal when he grows up."

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

"I know I'm too young to drive. How about getting me a driverless car?"

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.