Future Linebackers Gifts

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

Football Fans

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

Exercising

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

Children playing football.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

A boy with a football

"She's always been a quick learner."

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

"It's your turn, kid."

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

'Don't feel bad. Maybe your son is just a late bloomer.'

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in T.V. commercials!'

'My Dad said I'll be an international goalkeeper when I grow up!'

Elsa Alina Murano is president of Texas A&M, one of the country's 10-largest universities. She came to the USA from Cuba when she was barely 2 years old. She obviously started at an early age."

'...But my stupid parents said no!!'

'The teacher gave me a 'B' for coloring outside the lines. At this rate, I'll never get into Harvard!'

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'

"Congratulations, your baby is a footballer...!"

"No, you can't go sledding. It's too dangerous and besides, you have football practice."