Laughing Linebacker Gifts

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

Clive Anderson

'Go deep.'

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Mountain escalator.

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

Eternal Battle of Man vs Fish

Joe's Bar - We sell no wine before it's opening time!

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'

'Here's your new diet.' - 'A stick of celery?' - 'Lick it once at breakfast, once at lunchtime.' - 'And then eat it for dinner, right?' - 'Not until Week 6' - 'Gah.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

Golf cheerleaders.

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

Fish golfing.

'Well, Phil, now do you know what recoil means?'

'She's in training for the Olympics. The 100 metre sprint to the checkout.'

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

'Dang! I shoulda called the sitter.'

Football players huddle and one has a really long name.

"Your condition is extremely serious Mr. Butkiss. You should try laughing more often!"

"You have your high beams on."

"My fitness tracker has 3 motivation modes: gentle scolding, threats, and electroshock."