Linebacker Gifts

Speed Trumps Size.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

'It's all right, I'm just a little behind.'

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

Academy.

'Look at this mess! Egg everywhere! You're benched, Collins. I have no use for a quarterback who can't scramble.'

The chess pieces that fell off the chequered flag

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

Defensive Lineman

Patience Tested While You Wait.

A genetically bred super spider that spins utility lines.

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball

'Don't panic! Remain perfectly still. Do not make eye contact. If he attacks, curl into a fetal position and play dead.'

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

"Ball boys ready? Linesmen ready? Players ready? Sound technologists ready?"

Chocolate factory workers on the job - one with his face covered with chocolate - 'Your first day on the job...?'

'The game's starting to get a bit niggly!'

'Quit rushing me.'

'Figured out how to steal electricity yet?'

"I'm sensing that you have a job that carries a great amount of power."

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

"No, his phone line is fine. Maybe he just doesn't love you anymore."

"I'm only going to say this once Fred! I have a sore throat and it hurts to talk. So put that back in your pocket and leave it there for the rest of the game!"

"I'll let you off with a warning this time , Sir"

'My brother plays in that football team, I think he is one of the drawbacks.'

Sack me.