Quarterback Gifts

Speed Trumps Size.

Bret Favre.

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"No matter how, well I throw I'll never get out of Joe Montana's shadow."

It's tough being a quarterback in a new year's eve game. All the receivers want to drop the ball.

Sack me.

The Quarterback

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

'My brother plays in that football team, I think he is one of the drawbacks.'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

'It's Brett Favre. He changed his mind again.'

'Look at this mess! Egg everywhere! You're benched, Collins. I have no use for a quarterback who can't scramble.'

'Quit rushing me.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Church for sports worshipers.

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

Mr Metrosexual.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

"Young Billy play lak he on fire tonite!"

Futsal

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

"Before you begin, let's come up with a safe word so I can say if I need you to stop."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'