Backup Quarterback Gifts

Midway through the first quarter, Randall, the backup quarterback, fumbles the clipboard and is later dropped to third string on the depth chart.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

"Right-ho, Jeeves!"

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

'Look at this mess! Egg everywhere! You're benched, Collins. I have no use for a quarterback who can't scramble.'

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

'I'm working on the report for the third quarter as we speak.'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

2020 Panic Room

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'The only thing I can figure is that a game took place without a single fan criticizing the officials.'

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'