Backup Quarterback Pillows

Midway through the first quarter, Randall, the backup quarterback, fumbles the clipboard and is later dropped to third string on the depth chart.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"Right-ho, Jeeves!"

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

'Look at this mess! Egg everywhere! You're benched, Collins. I have no use for a quarterback who can't scramble.'

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

Sports Bar. Do you even do any fantasy sports? Only when I'm making a bet on my favorite team.

'I'm working on the report for the third quarter as we speak.'

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

It's tough being a quarterback in a new year's eve game. All the receivers want to drop the ball.

We've had two weeks between the conference finals and the big game. With time for injuries to heal, we're physically ready for a peak performance. We watched hour after hour of video. Then spent long days on the practice field so we'll function as a team and not a collection of individuals. And once we finally finish preparing for the touchdown celebrations, we might have an or two to practice football.

2020 Panic Room

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

'The only thing I can figure is that a game took place without a single fan criticizing the officials.'

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'