Couch Quarterback Gifts

"Mind if I put the game on?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"It's an old football injury. I threw my back out looking for the TV remote control."

"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."

Super Bowl Monday

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'I'm working on the report for the third quarter as we speak.'

'It's Sunday. I'm calling for a separation of church and sports.'

'If football didn't exist, what would you do new year's day?'

'Football season - time for the rubber-coated safety remote!'

"With baseball, college football and pro football overlapping, the excitement is too much form him to handle."

Football fan buries television.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Indoor Football

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"Right-ho, Jeeves!"

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'