Quarterback Quester Gifts

'we tried everything to stop him from sacking our quarterback: double teams,triple teams... nothing worked.

"Do me next."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

'Look at this mess! Egg everywhere! You're benched, Collins. I have no use for a quarterback who can't scramble.'

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

You guys aren't living up to your preseason hype!

'I'm working on the report for the third quarter as we speak.'

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

''Not guilty,' eh? - Color me suspicious!'

'I'd like to eat out for a change.'

The Water Diviner

"That's the Crab nebula and that's the 'load of dots that don't look like anything much' nebula!"

'I smell romance! This is his seventh blanket-bath. He only came in for an 'in-growing toe-nail' removal operation, yesterday!'

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

'Save some purrs for when I play quarterback for the Saints.'

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

Dragon Head Trophy

ATM saying 'Game Over.'

Super Bowl Monday

"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."

'Don't worship me.' 'I've lost a contact lens.'

'Quit rushing me.'

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

'Courtney, send in someone who knows a zig from a zag.'

Football fan buries television.