Future College Star Gifts

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Exercising

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Lost Season

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Future Wrestler

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

A boy with a football

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

Big Football

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

I'm freaking out! Thursday is dress rehearsal. Nerves? Work! I've got a math and history test on Friday. Why did I ever sign up for the spring musical? Because it's fun? West Fester High School. On my college application it'll look like I had fun. It'll go with your "Looks aren't important" essay.

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

I'm not worried about the economy. Me either! It's not like I'm going into banking, car manufacturing, or real estate. Totally! We'll still make the big bucks. May I ask doing what? Movie actress. Rock star. When you move to L.A., I'm not converting your bedroom.

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

Boy holding football.

"It's all set. We both have enough credits to go to college."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'