Future Baseball Star Gifts

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Exercising

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Future Wrestler

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

A boy with a football

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

Boy holding football.

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

I'm not worried about the economy. Me either! It's not like I'm going into banking, car manufacturing, or real estate. Totally! We'll still make the big bucks. May I ask doing what? Movie actress. Rock star. When you move to L.A., I'm not converting your bedroom.

Robert DeNiro's first part.

Your brother's threatening to be a fat cat banker. Barf! I will do something socially useful with my life! That's my girl! When I'm a famous actress, I'll talk forcefully to "Entertainment Tonight" about my vegetarian diet! Maybe we should have had more children. Or non.