Future All-star Gifts

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"Coach says I'll never make it to the majors. My spitting and scratching need a lot of work."

'The boys kicked me off the team, not cause I was a girl, cause I was too good!'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

Exercising

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Future Wrestler

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

A boy with a football

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

Big Football

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

I'm not worried about the economy. Me either! It's not like I'm going into banking, car manufacturing, or real estate. Totally! We'll still make the big bucks. May I ask doing what? Movie actress. Rock star. When you move to L.A., I'm not converting your bedroom.

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'