College Athlete Gifts

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

NCAA Profits: 'The keys to the kingdom...'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"No, the NCAA didn't suspend me, I just missed a couple of plays because I busted a chin strap."

'College Athletes do not need a union...they already have a seat at the table.'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

'When I was playing ball in college I took courses where I didn't have to show up, did no work, and got straight 'A's'...!'

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

Touchdown

Lost Season

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Go team!

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Yearbook

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I really crammed last night.'

Bullseye!