Student Athlete Gifts

"This has been quite a season for Zobrowsky—a hundred an twenty-nine receptions, sixteen touchdowns, a B-plus in English, a B in philosophy, an A in political science, and a B-minus in French!"

Student Athlete Counseling Center: 'I do the play by play!' - 'And I do the color!'

Boy holding football.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Where your mind & battle are los

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Computer Room.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'C'mon get it straight.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Eternal Student.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

The Bookworm

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Burning the midnight oil.

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Portrait of a Lady"