College Athletes Gifts

Meanwhile, down on the Plantation. . . .

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

I like the Jets...I guess

Go team!

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'I really crammed last night.'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

Exercising

National Academy of Sport

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

Cheerleaders

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

The Giamatti era

Lost Season

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

Tax What?!

"Wow, the current is strong today. It reminds meof the championship race backwhen I was at Yale. Did I mention I rowed at Yale?"

Coach Prime Cleans House

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'