College Athletes Gifts

Meanwhile, down on the Plantation. . . .

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

I like the Jets...I guess

Go team!

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'I really crammed last night.'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

Exercising

National Academy of Sport

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Cheerleaders

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

The Giamatti era

Lost Season

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

Tax What?!

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Wow, the current is strong today. It reminds meof the championship race backwhen I was at Yale. Did I mention I rowed at Yale?"

Coach Prime Cleans House

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.