College Sports Gifts

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'It was his last request. He was a track star in college.'

'He's giving me a two minute whining.'

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

'The sad part is, the kid still doesn't get why his stock has plummeted...'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

Cheerleaders

'I didn't know trampling was a foul.'

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

"Coaches and universities were making big money, so why can't players?"

BOBBY KNIGHT: Age one

College Football

NCAA Bubble

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

The Giamatti era

"No, the NCAA didn't suspend me, I just missed a couple of plays because I busted a chin strap."

College Player Union

Tax What?!

"Reports of Penn State orchestrating coach Paterno's exit are premature."

'Does business school have a football team, Dad?'

Spelling bee word: Krzyzewski

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

University of Nebraska sold out for 375 games in a row but now is in danger of ending that due to poor performance.

Cancelled Bowl Games

Touchdown

'When I was playing ball in college I took courses where I didn't have to show up, did no work, and got straight 'A's'...!'

Meanwhile, down on the Plantation. . . .

College Coaches Pay

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

Dr. McWit, Steroid Testing, Written Exams Only, The Athletes Doctor of Choice.

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."