Young Athlete Gifts

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'You played well, son. But you have to learn not to throw a tantrum whenever things don't go your way. There's plenty of time for that after you enter the workforce.'

"The kid's a natural."

'We'll trade Jimmy for Paul and throw in a player to be named later.'

"I have goals in life. Just last week I scored three goals!"

'With school, sports and music lessons, I don't get to spend much quality time with my gerbil.'

Child at starting blocks with string tied to tooth.

Girl with shotput tied to tooth.

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

Golf Fib

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

A boy with a football

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Yearbook

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"I AM at my usual position."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Bullseye!

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."