Young Athlete Gifts

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'You played well, son. But you have to learn not to throw a tantrum whenever things don't go your way. There's plenty of time for that after you enter the workforce.'

"The kid's a natural."

'We'll trade Jimmy for Paul and throw in a player to be named later.'

"I have goals in life. Just last week I scored three goals!"

'With school, sports and music lessons, I don't get to spend much quality time with my gerbil.'

Child at starting blocks with string tied to tooth.

Girl with shotput tied to tooth.

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

Golf Fib

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

A boy with a football

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Yearbook