Chelsea Champion Gifts

'Who won...'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Beers

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

'Not that slowly back...'

Chris Froome

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

A man playing guitar beneath a balcony with his hat ready for cash

Brownie Points

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

Welcome to summer school.

Jose Mourinho

'Look at it this way...you're like a big pop star! The hits just keep on coming!'

'It's your WIFE'S name? When you said you were claiming an allowance for supporting CHELSEA I thought......!'

'1875 - Captain Matthew Webb becomes the first man to swim the English Channel.'

'To the only thing that matters - BASEBALL!'

Muhammed Ali RIP

"What's next?"

'Any hot prospects on the horizon, Cathy?. . . Anyone new within a three-foot radius who's vaguely tolerable?'

The First Tattoo

'The games console has saved us a fortune in holidays. We told him we were seeing the pyramids but we were actually in Skegness. He didn't notice.'

N'Golo Kante

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

Chi Kick

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'Without you as a friend, I'd be a hopeless drunk by now'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'I hate Mondays!'

"Baldo, when's the last time you read a book?"

Mike Tyson

'Once more unto the bridge dear friends, once more...'

'Sure, I catch it once in a while, but nothing beats the chase.'