Console Champion Gifts

"Dad, couldn't we just play this on my gaming console? We're getting all sweaty out here!"

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'His sister beat him playing a video game.'

"Baldo, when's the last time you read a book?"

'The games console has saved us a fortune in holidays. We told him we were seeing the pyramids but we were actually in Skegness. He didn't notice.'

Second lifeReal life.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

Internet Cafe.

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"Is this the home that needs an exorcism on a gamer?"

"I think I'd be better off trying to figure this out the game on my own."

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

Gamers

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

"When is it my turn?"

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

'Video games don't seem to have done my dad any harm.'

"Baldo, have you finished your homework?"

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

'This is a great book. Have you read it?'

'I'm not sure I like Billy playing video games so much!'

It's the same as my system software, he sleeps after a period of inactivity and reboots with a click.

"I'm going to bed, I have an early tee time tomorrow."

"I'm not just playing video games--I'm contributing to the zeitgeist of the times."

'Straighten up young man or we will send you out of your room.'

Wii Childbirth