Cartoon Comedian Gifts

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"On task! On task, you huskies!"

'I never forget a face.'

Selfportrait

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"We only got six days of funding."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Torturing the English Language

Can You Spot the Differences?

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'The circle is complete!'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Claus 2.0

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Trump pardons

'Your French dip, sir.'