Cartoonist Humor Gifts

'Contrary to popular belief, none of our glove compartments carry a spare donut.'

"I don't remember you but your face is familiar!"

'I was hard to get used to having showers, but the fur-ball problem has finally gone away...'

'So how was the party, Honey?'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Occu-Pie Mars

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Can You Spot the Differences?

"We only got six days of funding."

Torturing the English Language

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Trump pardons

Claus 2.0

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

Shampoo.

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

Where Indian ink came from.

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

CIA report

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

Barbeque Casualty.