Cartoon Loving Humorist Gifts

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Billy. The Kid.

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

Barbeque Casualty.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

Snowman ice fishing.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Blog always makes it all about Blog."

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

Witch dice.

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

God Bless America, God Help Syria

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.