Carol Crooner Gifts

The Sixth Day of Christmas

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'May we sing you a few carols?'

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'O tumbleweed, O tumbleweed, how lovely are your branches.'

'I don't want to name names, but somebody is howling off key.'

We Three Kings.

'I blame the 'X' Factor.'

Cut out and keep your own Good King Wenceslas.

Christmas Choir

"And a parsley in a pear treeeeee!"

Festive squad

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

The Eighth Day of Christmas

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

'Old blue-screen's back!'

Music from the moon.

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

'You call that carol singing?'

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'