Carol Crooner Pillows

The Sixth Day of Christmas

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'May we sing you a few carols?'

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'I don't want to name names, but somebody is howling off key.'

We Three Kings.

'I blame the 'X' Factor.'

Cut out and keep your own Good King Wenceslas.

Christmas Choir

"And a parsley in a pear treeeeee!"

Festive squad

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Bashful in Nashville

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

The Eighth Day of Christmas

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

Music from the moon.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

'You call that carol singing?'

Banjo Player

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."