Carol Crooners Pillows

Silent Night.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

Violin family at Christmas

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Festive squad

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

The Eighth Day of Christmas

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

Lion Choir.

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

Dolly Parton

City & Western.

Rhinestone Accountant

'You call that carol singing?'

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

Banjo Player

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'

'May we sing you a few carols?'