Carol Crooners T-Shirts

Silent Night.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

Violin family at Christmas

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Festive squad

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

The Eighth Day of Christmas

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

Lion Choir.

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

'Old blue-screen's back!'

"And now, with our own unique version of the cole porter classic. . ."

City & Western.

Rhinestone Accountant

Dolly Parton

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

'You better watch out, you better not cry, we're here to abduct some earthlings that's why, aliens are coming to town.'

Banjo Player

'One more yippeee-ki-yi from Roy Rogers back there,and i'm putting a hoof through that guitar.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'You call that carol singing?'

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'