Country Crooners T-Shirts

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Bashful in Nashville

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

Music from the moon.

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

Banjo Player

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

In concert with Garth Vader

Would you mind if I hung round your backside for a while?

Country Girl Yeee Haaa!

"Gentlemen, let's pick it up again with 'I Been Livin' on Cold Navy Beans.'"

"May I remind you that until quite recently it wasn't called the Lyle Lovett look. It was called the Eraserhead look."

'I've got those, 'No money left for whisky and women because my cattle futures options expired out of the money' blues...'