Corporate Crooners T-Shirts

"We need more video-tutorials to help us reach the high notes."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'Dow goes up, Dow goes 'round, but we'll keep rockin' 'til the Fed cracks down . . . '

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

'See if you can get them to flambe the check, too.'

Landing That Tough Account

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"He assured me the merger is nothing to worry about."

And that, gentlemen, is my opinion for what it's worth.

Businessman Panhandling

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Long Speech Alarm at Company Dinner

City & Western.

'Our new director is also a choir director. He will lead us in singing our company fight song.'

'Here's something you need to hear...'

Man with Yoyo, "He was never over-lavish at entertaining clients."

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'

Singing is everyone's shower rights.

"All in favor of ditching the suits and forming a rock band say 'aye'."

'Where did he learn to carry a tune?'

"Let me do all the singing."

"Oh, I'm not arguing. I'm just stating my opinion and ignoring everything you say."

"O.K., Marv, you win. Quit the croonin' and get a condom."

"I've had a request. Nonetheless, here's another song."

'On stage with me today are Stu on earnings; Pete on future growth; Blaine on lead guitar; and Wallace on Marketing.'