Romantic Crooner Pillows

Too Popular By Half.

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Bashful in Nashville

"I always thought love made the world go round."

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

Festive squad

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

Music from the moon.

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

"And now, with our own unique version of the cole porter classic. . ."

Rhinestone Accountant

Social butterfly

Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa? What order would best simulate sincerity? Very bad man.

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

Cell Partners

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Banjo Player

'One more yippeee-ki-yi from Roy Rogers back there,and i'm putting a hoof through that guitar.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.