Casual Crooner Pillows

Singing is everyone's shower rights.

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

A trevor of trainspotters

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

Bashful in Nashville

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

Music from the moon.

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

"Don't worry. These rosés are still fresh."

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

Banjo Player

Caddy With A Cool Box

Man with t-shirt 'I *spade* my dog'.

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."