Crooner Enthusiast Pillows

"I've had a request. Nonetheless, here's another song."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Bryan Ferry

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Bashful in Nashville

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

The Dog Choir

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

"...And you will serve two years in a male voice choir as a baritone!"

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

"You don't need a doctor to look at your throat, you need a CHOIRPRACTOR."

"I am sorry. I'm going to have to let you go. You just can't seem to learn the words."

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

The Corus.

I am a bass/baritone/tenor.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'