Crooner Enthusiast Gifts

"I've had a request. Nonetheless, here's another song."

'Old blue-screen's back!'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Bryan Ferry

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Bashful in Nashville

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

The Dog Choir

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

"...And you will serve two years in a male voice choir as a baritone!"

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

'Oh, shut up!'

"You don't need a doctor to look at your throat, you need a CHOIRPRACTOR."

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

"I am sorry. I'm going to have to let you go. You just can't seem to learn the words."

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

The Corus.

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

'Page 37 in your hymnals and selection #15 on your iPods.'

I am a bass/baritone/tenor.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Frank Sinatra

Rhinestone Accountant