Crooning Enthusiast Gifts

"O.K., Marv, you win. Quit the croonin' and get a condom."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Bryan Ferry

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

Custard pie ejects from book - 'How to be a clown'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

The Dog Choir

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

Ventriloquist Audition

Senseless clowning around

Circus. Clown Dept. You realize, of course, you'll have to share the company car.

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

Clown Painting in Museum

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

"...And you will serve two years in a male voice choir as a baritone!"

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'

Heavenly voices.

'Old blue-screen's back!'

"I am sorry. I'm going to have to let you go. You just can't seem to learn the words."

Wiener Dog Balloon Animal.

"You don't need a doctor to look at your throat, you need a CHOIRPRACTOR."

The sudden extinction of Neanderclowns

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"