Crooner Lover Gifts

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Bryan Ferry

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"Herb's from Texas."

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

Tyrannosaurus Tex

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

Chorister's Loose Teeth

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Heaven

A family choir

A singer being criticised

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'

'Old blue-screen's back!'

"The Choir Director's out sick, so they're all a but lost."

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

Frank Sinatra

Tutti: When all voices sing at the same time.

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

'Mah botty too pooty-lishious for you baby.'

Young man, I think you are wearing my hat!

"These choir robes are so hot, I'm glad I went commando."

"Hi honey, how was work?"

"I just don't feel like you value my role as associate pastor."

Cowboy reads book: 'The Joy of Tex'.

John Rutter

'A hush fall over the concert hall...'

Singing is everyone's shower rights.