Career Crosser Gifts

"When is an IT consultant like a plumber?"

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

Caged Businessman

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Planned service changes

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

After I crossed the road, I began to ask myself why I did anything.

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"How can you cross the road so decisively? I have to stop halfway across every time to rethink it."

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'