Career Crossroads Gifts

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

The Choice of Fame and Fortune.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

MItch asked himself over and over, what did Mr Hogson imply by saying shape up or ship out.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"Mum, I got the job!"

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

Caged Businessman

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'Cat job interviews.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

Planned service changes

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."