The Career Chameleon Gifts

The undecided department

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

Planned service changes

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

The world's most unemployable family

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

Blend Schools

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

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'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"Charlie Greider... that rascal! I had a sneaking suspicion he'd be shedding his skin and moving on to a bigger company before too long!"

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'