Career Chameleon Gifts

Worm job fair.

'OK ladies and gentlemen, when I start the music start circling the chairs. When the music stops please take up your new post...'

'I see from your CV you're all things to all men.'

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

"Tell me again, Dad, how you started in the mailroom."

'Actually I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.'

'I know I interviewed for this job last week, but I've reinvented myself six times since then.'

'Reinvent yourself, and get back to us.'

'My attempt to be a male supermodel didn't pan out as well as I expected. Can I have my job in accounting back?'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'Benny is a Jack-of-all-trades, and he's unemployed in all of them.'

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

'I started as a corporate watchdog under Clinton, and become a corporate spokesman for Bush.'

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

'I understand your trainer used to be a dog trainer.'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"Charlie Greider... that rascal! I had a sneaking suspicion he'd be shedding his skin and moving on to a bigger company before too long!"

"Are you an ambitious, dynamic go-getter?"

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

'If at first you don't succeed...have you ever thought of becoming a personnel officer?'

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

Aunty Mavis spent her life hopping from one job to another.

'Do you think you could handle a wide variety of work?' - 'Yes I've had 9 jobs in the last two years '

'You're a model - what sort, dear?'

A self made man who didn't follow the directions.

"He retired as an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

The Pediatrician Turned Gynecologist

"I'm a businessman, turned artists, turned businessman again."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"I'm fifty-three, but I have the resume of a much younger man."