The Career Chameleon Pillows

The undecided department

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

Planned service changes

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

The world's most unemployable family

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

Blend Schools

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Charlie Greider... that rascal! I had a sneaking suspicion he'd be shedding his skin and moving on to a bigger company before too long!"

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"