Quirky Career Changers Pillows

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"My experience in sales? Well, I've spent the past five years successfully selling snake oil..."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

Planned service changes

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

Blend Schools

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"I've applied the Paper Reduction Act to my resume."

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"Sure, you could make a good living in private industry, but believe me, you wouldn't be running any kingdoms."

'Dang! My applications as a mailman, a football player and a dancing teacher got rejected. I guess I've got to go on hunting that stupid white whale...'